


penance.

by Prettything_uglylie



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Bonding Over Religion, Discussions of Booker's Exile, Families of Choice, Former Priest Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Found Family, Gen, Internal Conflict, Joe is here but he is Asleep, Nicky | Nicolò di Genova Loves Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Nicky's awake because he's Group-Momming for the night, Nile Freeman & Nicky | Nicolò di Genova Friendship, Nile Freeman Needs a Hug, POV Nile Freeman, Platonic Cuddling, Post-Canon, Random & Short, Religious Conflict, Religious Discussion, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:29:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26556640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prettything_uglylie/pseuds/Prettything_uglylie
Summary: After exiling Booker, Nile cannot sleep and worries over punishment and many other things but she is not there alone.
Relationships: Andromache of Scythia & Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani & Nicky | Nicolo di Genova & Nile Freeman, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Nicky | Nicolo di Genova & Nile Freeman
Comments: 8
Kudos: 141





	penance.

**Author's Note:**

> hey, so i was just thinking about this because I really love their dynamic and I think that their friendship is neat as well as me loving platonic relationships so uh, here! Hope you like it and please acknowledge I wrote this at 1am so if there are mistakes, I'm sorry!

She's thinking about penance, she's thinking about Booker and she's thinking about Booker's penance, about his sad eyes when they had said 100 years of exile - it made her head swim to think _that_ _long?_ but the others were unflinching, Joe had suggested 500 and Nicky had played middle ground, saying 200 while Andy decided on 100 after Nile herself had suggested an apology, and she couldn't imagine the change of the world after one hundred years alone - or about the guilt that she knew resides in him and everything he did. 

Nile wonders dully if it would have been better to kill him - after all, she thinks loneliness may be worse than death. Maybe that's why she was so hesitant to join this group when everything had already felt so established, a world created centuries before her and a world that would have left her in stone if only she was able to die - it was scary and sometimes being with them had held the smidge of being lonely, especially when she thinks of Nicky and Joe curled in one another's arms or Booker and Andy's empty beds, one not to be filled for a hundred years and the other looking as though it has not been filled in a hundred years. 

"Nile," the voice whispers into the dark glow of the room, only lit by the high-placed window in the wall of the basement of this hideout - she had asked why there were four beds and the look in Andy's eyes had been the same every other time she brought up Quynh - that streamed moonlight into fall on the floor like broken glass shards. She knows the accented voice with the surprising familiarity she had felt when that same voice had said _destiny_ and like a muscle memory, she searches for his features in the dark. 

She likes the way he says her name, she thinks absentmindedly, the way the vowels are a little off and the way it rolls around in his mouth, falling out something that doesn't sound like the river anymore. She likes his mouth, likes his accent. She likes Nicky. 

Her murmur back is gentle, "Yeah?" 

She doesn't want to wake Joe, would feel cruel with the way his nose presses into the curve of Nicky's neck like he would like to breathe him in and never be without him - it's horribly intimate but she's happy for them, thrilled even. Her eyes set on Nicky's face who is peering at her curiously without any of the judgement curiosity often mingles with, his eyes sleep-lidded but a deep blue with the bump of awareness he attempts to blink into progress. There are pillow marks on the side of his face. 

"Are you alright?" He murmurs back and she wonders if he is, if the guilt is eating at them too or if they're just fine, just used to this, just how they do things, "We think about him too." 

Nicky confirms and not for the first time, she wonders how much of this destiny, prophecy-sharing thing is still there because Nicky seems to know how to read her thoughts and that's not fair but she chalks it up to him having unbelievable intuition. 

He continues, "Booker..." His swallow is audible even as his voice creaks, still quiet enough to allow Joe to sleep, "Booker is our family, was and still is. There has to be responsibility taken." 

She swallows, feeling close to tears before asking after a moment of pause, "DO you believe in God, Nicky?" 

Nile remembers Andy's jabs at religion on the plane and her claim to have once been hailed a God sticks with her but she knows better and expects a bit more of a thoughtful or an empathetic response from their sniper. A beat passes through their conversation again where he swallows, glances at the ceiling then Joe and bookends it by looking back to her, "I...I have a complicated relationship with faith, but I am here if you would like to talk about it." 

She blinks at him for a moment before he clarifies, "I was a priest before I died. When..." he glances to the curve of his own shoulder, to where Joe's beard is undeniably scratching at the thin fabric of his shirt and then back to her again, "we were in the Crusades."

She wants more to that story but even she knows tonight is not the night to ask. Booker's absence is enough hurt for all of them, let alone the past.

Her voice is steady in a way she does not feel when she asks, "Do you remember idealized penance?" 

The dark room goes silent for so long she peers into the room for a long moment to try to see if Nicky fell back asleep but his voice is raw when he answers, eyes shiny like he's restraining the urge to cry, "I do. I knew it well." 

"So does Booker." She answers, not taking the time to think it through before continuing, "Do you think so?" 

Her phrasing is weird and despite not knowing the time, she chalks it up to it being late at night. 

The crinkle of blankets responds to her before Nicky does and she hears Joe's still half-asleep voice murmur out _Nicolo, Nicolo_ in the most scolding voice she's heard since the Marines though softened by love and sleep, it sounds much more gentle. 

"Nile," he finally responds, " _vieni_ _qui_ , we will talk about this in the morning." 

She's used to dismissals and she nods, swallowing the bitter and nonsensical feeling of betrayal in her throat before Nicky sighs and repeats, "Come here."

It takes her a moment to realize what he means and then with the following of her military background, she does what he said, slipping from her bed to the dark of the floor and shivering when her foot touches cold cement flooring - she doesn't remember where they are, had fallen asleep in the car - and she pads through, attempting to safely make her way across the floor. 

Her big toe knicks the edge of a pair of jeans and she doesn't know which of the boys it belongs to. 

Nicky's arm is stretched out in the line of holding the blanket up, quiet commands he's good at, commands that feel like suggestions, and she crawls into the warm cave of their bed, feeling heat pour from both of their bodies. Feels herself relax into Nicky's embrace and the mattress as his arms bracket her head lovingly, to which she buries her face in his t-shirt. Her chin only falls a bit above Joe's arm but it too radiates warmth into her cold body. 

She brackets an arm around Nicky's scrawny waist and leaves it to tuck between Joe and Nicky as it does when Joe unconsciously moves forward and she can't imagine what they look like, all curled together. 

When her eyelids finally begin to fall closed, Nicky whispers to her, accent heavy with sleep, "Penance finds us all, especially Booker - and he will drown in his, but we will help him out of it because we are a family. And penance may find us all, but so does forgiveness." 

It's the closest to a sermon she's had in a long time. 

Her arm cradles him a little tighter in response to words her mouth cannot form but he places a small kiss in her hair on the crown of her head and they drift off to sleep, all three of them, curled into one another and sometimes. 

Sometimes it's hard to feel alone with them. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this! Kudos and comments are stellar and highly appreciated!


End file.
